January 5, 2007
Step 1: Empty out a shoebox
Step 2: Put $250.00 in box, tape box shut
Step 3: Bury in the front lawn. If you do not have a front lawn, put box underneath kitchen sink.
Step 4: E-mail the location of the wii money to email@example.com
Step 5: Between the day after you send the e-mail and the end of march, be on your best behaviour. If you were good you will find a wii under your pillow, if you were bad you will find nothing. So be good for goodness sake!
November 14, 2006
Ok. Let me just finish off the last of my coffee and then wash that down with one pint of piss and another pint of vinegar and then I will get to my assignment, you slave driving bastard of an editor, you.
Frank Miller has recently announced that his nearing completion of his 200 page batman graphic novel epic, Batman vs. Osama. Super heroes fighting the foes of America has been an old tradition, but for some reason The Dark Knight vs. a 65-year-old man seems pretty ridiculous.
What tools will the Batman use to find Osama that the U.S. government hasn’t already implemented? Will he fight him face to face or will he drop a Bat Bunker Buster? Will Osama be beefed up with some sort of supernatural abilities provided to him by Allah himself? Will it be interesting enough to fill the rumored 200 pages of content?
The title of the graphic novel is to be “Holy Terror, Batman!” according to the New York Post. I guess the story takes place in Gotham City, which has been overrun with al-Qaeda soldiers. I hope that it goes beyond Gotham, that he takes the fight to Afghanistan (Afghanistwhere? Didn’t we done blowns it up with our freedom bombs?), and that Osama is really the Joker or better yet the Penguin (quack quack).
Will I buy it? Yes. I am a sucker for this kind of shit, and I loved the Dark Knight graphic novel. Will I buy the story? Probably, since it is a work of fiction and it is using the war on terror to sell copies of it. Might as well make money off it, everyone else is.
November 14, 2006
My colleague here at SHSIBAE has just sent me a link to a t-shirt for sale at Sak’s Fifth Avenue that really presents one of the underlying problems the advent of metrosexuality and is by extension a social critique on the current state of American Culture. Yes, all rolled into one t-shirt. One $175US t-shirt.
Here’s a simple, new rule: If you want to wear a video game t-shirt, maybe try to at least play the game first, or be familiar with it. And also, maybe don’t spend more than $30 on it. You can spend a lot less, but I understand if you want something nice, maybe something fitted and American made.
For shits and giggles, I was going to find another Mario t-shirt, one that someone with an actual brain, albeit less cash, would purchase. But nay! Here’s a hooded sweatshirt you can have, for only $20!