One of the greatest selling points of a gaming system for me is the ability to play throwback games. When I was growing up (yes, go ahead and hit play on your cd of sad violin music), I always had the non popular system to play. While my friends were playing Pac Man on the 2600, I was playing KC Munchikins on my Odyssey. Doom on their PC, I was staring at the finder of my Mac. While Mario was jumping around on my friends Nintendo, I was shooting clay pots on my Sega Master System. I know, I had it rough, but I turned out okay (you can stop the cd now).
That is why the xbox arcade is important to me, and the Wii emulation of old games will make drool come out of my mouth faster than ice cream on a whore’s teet. I am currently, for the first time in my life, playing through the first Doom and love it. They tweaked the graphics up just a little bit for the xbox, but left the game very close to it’s true form.
Tomorrow I think Contra comes out, and there is a huge list of games that I have only heard spoken about in the school cafeteria with a sense of awe in my peers voices. I hope that they included the “up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start” code in. If I ever form a band, I am making sure that we make a hardcore death metal song dedicated to the most holy of cheat codes, I think I would call the song “100 Lives Wasted, Face Down in the Goddamned Muck!”
If you are reading this (which I doubt you are Microsoft), please port The 7 Cities of Gold to xbox live. Until then, keep releasing the throwback games and stay away from the dumb tetris clones.
Please entertain the full potential of philosphical debate with this new feature. To calm any fears that this category will resort to the puberty-stricken context of magazines like Maxim or Stuff, I am going to offer two polls in one today. Make no mistake–the inspiration for this type of dialogue rests squarely on Kate’s shoulders, or hips as the case may be, as the question of what movie Ms. Beckinsale looks most gorgeous in may never be answered fully in our lifetime.
Ms. Beckinsale starring in Underworld:
Ms. Beckinsale starring in Van Helsing:
And now, for part two.
Vin Diesel in XXX:
Vin Diesel in Pitch Black:
And although some members of this blog abhor all four of these movies, I will still appreciate any comments they may make. I guess.
Happy Birthday Brendan!
Hi, I’m Max Powers. I don’t know why all of you critics out there want to ridicule my genuinely humanitarian act of adopting kids from underdeveloped and impoverished countries. My most recent
acquisition love of my life came from Cambodia and I love her very much. She is like a tiny off-white snowflake. Her original name was Ming Lee, but her name is now Britney Powers since I saved her. I think this will really enrich her life as she is growing up in the U.S..
My other children will get along great with her once they all learn to speak English, and I just don’t see what the problem is. How could you doubt my sincerity here? Are you a racist, because I’m definitely not. You can plainly see that because of my new multi-colored children.
I’d like to see what kind of comments you bastards can come up with. You’re probably just ignorant of what it’s like to be caring for all humans. You know, like I am.