So. The Christmas missile is headed right for us and is closing quick. If you look at the night sky you may be able to make out the faint glow of twinkle lights in the distance. We have less than 21 days left before it slams into our hearts and minds and causes us to commit horrible acts of good will and cheer. There is no place to hide from it’s fallout. We are all doomed.

The Christians will be the first to crawl out of the dust from the impact, building baby Jesus houses and rubbing it in that they have the most popular holiday on the planet. Then the TV stations will be over-run with run of the mill xmas specials, teaching us those valuable life lessons that we can only learn from a sitcom. Finally, the drunks will saddle up to the bar and drink like it is any other day. The only difference will be, the first one will be free. A gift from your bartender, because you both know it’s gonna be a long night. Piss will land on your shoe, excess drink will fall from the corner of your mouth and drip onto your leg, and the kitchen is going to close early, so order those nachos asap.

Whatever it is that you do, during this season of holidays and cheer. Do it with some fucking style and passion, you have the rest of the year to half ass it, make this month something they will all talk about long after the ule logs ashes have been dumped out back by where you burried the family dog.

-the redouter


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